Dib Almighty
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: Alu and Zim invent a bomb to cause the city dam to crack and eventually break. Dib recieves a call from God to build an ark to save the people and animals living in the surrounding areas, and little did Zim and Alu know they too would be saved.


Dib Almighty

Note: Take the premise of "Evan Almighty", but give it a distinct IZ taste. Alu has created a device to overflow the local rivers with the help of Zim, God demands Dib to make an ark. At first, Dib thinks he is losing his mind, but Aurora sticks with him.

"Maybe God meant a 'flood of inspiration'."—Joan to Evan

"If He did…I am going to be so** pissed**."—Evan, Evan Almighty

"Shame without 'e' is 'sham', drop an 'h' and insert a 'c' and you've got 'scam'."—Me

Chapter 1—The Devastating Plan

Alu had been studying thousands of Earth manuscripts to see if there was anything that struck her imagination or gave her inspiration. She had never considered herself the religious type, but she had gone to the local library and picked up a copy of the newly revised version Bible. From the start, the book was quite intriguing and she found herself fascinated by the story of Noah. She chuckled slightly until the librarian kindly shushed her and she had written down what she needed in order to create a natural disaster by herself. In accordance to her blueprints and the necessary materials she would procure, she would need the help of Zim to complete this task, and it would all be terribly horrific for mankind. The day of Irken rule would come at last.

Blocking the waterways at the edge of town would be mind-numbingly simple, but Alu had contacted Zim to assist her anyway. They would break the dam from the bottom using an earthquake machine she had recently made and let nature take its course.

"Alright, schmoogie, hold on to something because it's going to be a rough ride.", Alu said, holding onto Zim's hand after she pressed the ignition button to her device. It was about a 6.0 on the Richter scale, nothing really too terribly scary. It shook the earth up quite a bit, and caused the structural integrity of the dam to crack perfectly up the middle.

"Your genius is insanely evil, my dear.", Zim said, kissing Alu's cheek and causing her to fluoresce somewhat.

"You really know how to compliment me, boogie-woo.", Alu said, affectionately, nuzzling her face to his and drowning momentarily in another spontaneous kiss. Their romantic interlude was interrupted by GIR's incessant babbling.

"Rigel and I are headed out to the pizza parlor. Wanna come with ? It'll be a cute little double date for the twoooo of us !", he said, in a giddy tone. Zim preferred to be alone with Alu but knew he'd have to watch GIR to make certain he didn't get into any mischief.

"Fine.", Zim said, sighing in exasperation. Twirling Rigel around merrily and singing "Hot Stuff", Rigel had a hard time just keeping her equilibrium motor in tact before being dragged along to the nearest pizza joint. At least for the time being, Zim and Alu's devious deeds had been enacted. Now it was up to nature to take its course.

Chapter 2—A Visit From God

Dib had been busy at work and had become exhausted by the time his shift had come to an end. Working with computers had been his life-long dream, but blocking out hackers to the network could prove enervating. He was happy simply to come home and see how his wife, Aurora was doing. She had come home from her job at the lab and she had forgotten to take her goggles off. She was still as beautiful as ever, and he was pleased to see his little ones, Deb and DJ. Both of them were looking forward to a camping trip to study the stars and nature while learning how to build fires and prepare food in the wild. Everything was set until Dib's boss had called him in, wondering if he could work some extra hours over the weekend. Dib had quite a dilemma since he wanted to spend time with Aurora and the kids, but his boss wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise. Deb and DJ were upset because in the past Dib never had a problem spending time with his children but his boss was such a blowhard that he would never hear him out.

"Fine. Yeah. See you tomorrow.", Dib said sadly.

"Let me guess, the trip's off.", DJ said, astutely.

"Unfortunately.", Dib answered, hanging his head.

"Honey, don't worry about it. We can do it another time.", Aurora said, trying to sound upbeat.

"Not with my boss…Well, for the time, let's make the most of what time we do have together.", Dib said, trying to join his wife with her enthusiasm.

That evening, the family had gone to the local Chunk E. Wheezes for pizza and entertainment while Dib was introduced to a man with a rather righteous look about him. It was strange, but the young-looking fellow was quite clean and his clothes were awfully white. He also seemed to adore partaking in meals with others.

"Dib, how are you son ?", the man said, and then stopped before Dib could speak.

"I know how you feel…You're miffed because your boss won't let you have time off even though you work hard day in and day out. You feel like he's using you for your talent. In truth, he really isn't, but the guy's a bit of a jackass, isn't he ?", the man responded.

"I couldn't have said so any better. It's like you know him. Tell me, have you met my boss ?", Dib asked, even more fascinated by the man the more he spoke to him.

"Come with me, I need to talk with you.", the man in the sharp white clothes stated briefly and took Dib by the hand to lead him outside.

"I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but I created your boss. I even created you. I've come to warn you and to ask a favor of you.", God said.

"You mean to tell me you are THE Creator Himself ?", Dib said, his mouth hanging open in awe. He had never thought he would be meeting God this soon. He kneeled down upon his knees and pulled at God's white jeans.

"Please, don't take me now…I'm not ready.", Dib cried but then God helped him up and dried his eyes.

"You are far from your time to come to Heaven, Dib. Listen, I want you to make an ark. Just follow my instructions. I will provide everything you need.", God said before disappearing.

Dib was flabbergasted, unable to comprehend what had just happened, but he felt he would have to start working immediately if he wanted to do what the Lord had commanded him to.

Chapter 3—Building the Ark

God had set a date for the flood to occur, and it was coming soon. Dib and his family had to work quickly even though he realized that he could possibly lose his job. At first, Aurora and the kids were reluctant to help Dib, but then he began to be followed by animals every day of every shape, size, and species. Having a feeling that a higher power was at work, the family worked as a well-oiled machine and it even interested the snoopy media marveling at the ark that was in progress. Some thought it was the product of lunacy. Others thought it was a waste of time, and yet there were the few that wondered if Dib's prophecy was going to come to pass.

All the while, Zim and Alu were watching the broadcast of the ark construction and laughing until their squiggly-spooches hurt.

"They think that outdated craft will save them ? FOOLS !", Zim chortled.

"Humans are so idiotic.", Alu agreed as she dried her eyes of tears and took Rigel by the hand.

"I'd better be going. I'll go by the dam and give you the status of "Project: Deluge".", Alu said, before Zim pulled her close for a kiss and let her go.

"I wish our courtings would last a bit longer but, I know you have much to do. We will be together on the day of destruction.", Zim said, before watching her slink out his front door with a quirky smile and a bubbly giggle.

Chapter 3—Jump on the Ark, Save Yourselves

Dib could feel a rumbling from the dam nearby and thanked his lucky stars that his building crew had helped him construct the ark in time. It wouldn't be much longer until the dam burst and the city was flooded. He had to make his announcement quick if he was going to save the town from drowning alive.

The next day, Dib made an announcement on live television, dressed like one of the Old Testament prophets. Aurora and the children had gone with him to support him, even if he did look like "man mountain dean" or an elder version of Lawrence of Arabia. It didn't matter if he _did_ look strange; strange was just a mode of expression for Dib after all.

Most of the media laughed at Dib's claims of a flood coming to the city.

"I don't see any rain. Guess your God's on vacation.", one doubter said.

"It's not precipitation, but the dam that's the problem.", Dib said, pointing over to the dam.

"We've all heard it rumble. That so-called "integrity" the builders boasted about so long ago when it was built is MA-LAR-KEY !", Dib said, accentuating every syllable in the word 'malarkey'. Then again, the dam began to rumble and crack and just then the Irkens stepped out in their waterproof environmental suits to declare victory.

When the dam burst, people were scrambling toward the ark for safety. Zim was too caught up in a victory dance to notice that Alu had been alarming him toward the danger of the oncoming water. Although they were in environmental suits, there was still the likelihood they could melt or drown if their paste formula wore off (and in all likelihood with water of that velocity, it could) and die horribly.

"What are you doing, Alu ! Stop yanking on me…", Zim said, before he saw the gargantuan tsunami approaching them.

"Come on, you two, we don't have time to spare !", Dib yelled as the other people gathered aboard.

"No…No, we mustn't ! Alu, stop ! We will NOT accept Dib's help !", Zim said as he pulled his arm free from Alu's grasp. Alu had already boarded the ark, and Dib yanked him in only seconds before the water began to rock the boat.

"A mere second later, and you'd probably be dead.", Dib said, thankful that his nemesis wasn't drowned.

"Oh shove it, Dib.", Zim stated, bitterly, walking to the other side of the arc to be alone in thought and think about this sudden change of fortune and what it meant to be saved yet again by the one who was supposed to be stopping him, but instead had helped him. Alu, too, was conflicted and her mind was reeling as well. Humans were a confusing species indeed.

Chapter 4—Not A True Victory

Only a small area of the city had been flooded, and everyone in the area had gathered in the boat, so no one had died. Some areas had been inconvenienced by the water, but no real damage had been made. Many people had changed their ways though, thanks to the flood. By the time the ark had landed near a governmental building, the animals could be free in the wild wherever they roamed, and the people were given housing in condos nearby until the water drained and they could return to their real homes.

Zim and Alu were crushed that their plan hadn't worked as originally thought. The thought that they had been saved was both disgusting and touching at the same time. These mixed emotions were rattling their minds. Not one of them had said anything to the other, since both of them were so shocked.

"Why are you both still in the ark ? The water's gone now, you can both go back home.", Aurora said, noticing the dejected look on the incognito aliens' faces. The two got up, without saying a word, and went on their way, knowing in all truth, they had been defeated once again by the power of good.

Epilogue 

Although for the time being, the events of the ark were all but forgotten and Dib had returned to his usual dress, and Zim and Alu were left to their own devices and felt it would be best to work on new plans for possible world domination. Yet, for the time being, the two enjoyed each other's company, laughing about how silly some humans were and how wonderful the concept of love was. Love was universal, even if they didn't want to admit it and they had come to know what true unconditional love was. They knew they couldn't be so hard on the humans that had helped them in such great capacity, thus, they would give the humans a break from their destruction. Of course, there would come a time when the Irkens would work on another device to usurp the world and convert them into their slaves. But all those things didn't really matter in the long one…and ironically, it took a natural disaster to teach them that.

The End


End file.
